In a Valentine's Day column this week, Jennifer Roback Morse reflects on the value of committed love, not just to couples, but to the families and communities that depend on them.

I remember the weekend of Thanksgiving. My husband’s father and brother were visiting us from Northern California. We decided to take them down to see the U.S.S. Midway, which is now a museum in San Diego Harbor. So we loaded up grandpa and uncle, and our kids: our birth daughter, our two foster children, and our adopted son who got us all started on this business of what love really means. On the way home, I noticed that our mini-van was completely full. “Not bad,” I thought to myself, “for a couple that were told they could never have children.”

But then I realized that all these people were counting on my husband and I to love one another. Obviously, our kids are legitimately dependent on us. Our love for each other sustains them. We couldn’t really be much help to the foster kids if we weren’t able to work together as a team, for their good, as well as the good of the whole family. Without our love for each other, our middle-class lifestyle would be an empty sham, and not nearly so valuable for them.

And there was grandpa nodding off in the front seat. Because my husband and I love each other, he doesn’t have to worry about us. A lot of elderly people end up taking care of their grandchildren because their adult children’s marriages have collapsed, or exploded. In the back seat, my husband’s brother was tickling the nieces and nephews we provide him. Our marriage enriches him, even though he is perfectly capable of taking care of himself. If we didn’t love each other, my husband and I wouldn’t have that van full of people who love us and count on us.

Read more. And have a happy Valentine's Day.

Comments

[Diane Singer]

What a lovely article, a real treat on Valentine's Day. Thanks for the link!