Gender Matters

The Problem with Genderless Parenting

“It’s a boy!” That’s what my assistant exclaimed when her grandson was born. Well, one set of new parents in Canada is yelling, “It’s a secret!” Find out what I mean, next on BreakPoint.

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Chuck  Colson

You may have heard the public outcry over the parents in Toronto who have decided to keep their baby’s gender a secret.

When Kathy Witterick and David Stocker sent an e-mail to friends and family announcing the birth of their baby, Storm, they wrote: “We’ve decided not to share Storm’s sex for now -- a tribute to freedom and choice in place of limitation.”

According to Yahoo News, “only the parents, their two other children (both boys), a close friend, and the two midwives who helped deliver the now 4-month-old baby know its gender. Even the grandparents have been left in the dark.”

Witterick and Stocker say they hope that what they’re doing will make the world “a more progressive place,” but that doesn’t seem to be working out too well.

There’s a backlash against their actions from all sides -- conservatives and liberals alike. Even some of the most progressive folks out there, including advocates of same-sex “marriage” and adoption, and transgendered behavior are crying foul. Even they are recognizing that there’s such a thing as too much choice and too few limits, especially when children are involved.

For their part, Witterick and Stocker said they believe “it’s obnoxious” that “parents make so many choices for their children.”

But nothing could be further from the truth!

In fact, the politically correct trend sweeping the U.S., and evidently Canada, is setting child-rearing on its head. Instead of teaching our kids right from wrong and the traditions and wisdom we have inherited from our forbears, parents are more and more letting their children make all their own choices -- choices outside of any moral or practical context.

I’m sorry, but expecting a toddler to figure out what’s best for him (or her) is absolute madness. And it’s tragic. No wonder kids are confused! There’s no one to teach them how to grow up and flourish in the world; how to measure their wants against what is actually good for them; and how to choose to do the right thing over simply indulging their every desire.

But this is where the tyranny of relativism has led us. If there is no such thing as Truth, if right and wrong are up to the individual, then of course personal choice becomes the highest good: Even if the choice threatens our spiritual, physical, and moral well-being.

You’ve heard me say many times that God has written His law on our hearts. We know instinctively that gender is part of our God-given, biological design. And we should realize that when we try to deny or suppress or alter that essential part of our being, it’s not good for us -- and especially not good for our children.

I’m not saying that all members of the same gender should be made to think and act the same way. What I am saying is this: Efforts to transcend or ignore gender are destined to be fruitless at best, harmful at worst.

A culture that tries to do this ends up far more rigid and judgmental than the culture it’s trying to reform. And tragically, its children often end up feeling far worse about themselves than children who are taught to embrace God’s design and purpose for their lives.

Further Reading and Information

Parents Keep Child's Gender Under Wraps
Zachary Roth | Yahoo News | May 24, 2011

The Genderless Baby? Well-Intentioned but Wrong
Judith Timson | Globe and Mail | May 26, 2011

Genderless Child?
John Stonestreet | ThePointRadio.org | June 02, 2011


gender issues
I agree that gender neutrality is not God's way. Perhaps however the parents have valid reasons for their approach.

Please consider the possibility that the baby is hermaphrodite or born with parts for both sexes. In that case it may be perfectly appropriate to allow the child to participate in this decision once the child has developed enough to do so possibly years from now. Children previously born into this situation who are now adults often recommend a wait and see course of action if it is possible.

Sadly many pesticides and plastics and high soy consumption are estrogenic and may disrupt the endocrine/hormone system at critical points in utero and cause these disturbing situations.

www.endocrinedisruption.com See Critical Windows of Development Timeline

For sure God made male and female but our societal sins in search of an easier life we have unwittingly disrupted God's patterns and produced a much higher number of these persons.

How necessary and God honoring for Christians and our churches to repent and change (go back to organics and natural materials to replace plastics etc). We can ask ask God for mercy and grace to deal with these dear children when God chooses to place them among us. Perhaps their presence is a warning to us all.


These parents obviously don't realize that they ARE making a choice for their child...to be known as an ambiguous human form instead of a boy or girl.