Blatant Incivility

I usually give my restaurant ticket a cursory glance to ensure that I'm being charged the correct amount.

Since reading Jesus Diaz's "10 Insults Hidden on Restaurant Receipts," I'm going to start reading the whole ticket. And not just for my own sake . . .

The oldest virtue, and the glue that holds together our social fabric, is civility; therefore in order to survive as a nation, we've got to start treating people with respect--ergo we've got to get a lot more serious about the tawdry breaches of civility.

Here's my suggestion on how to make things a little better for everyone: If you find an insult typed on your receipt, let the manager know about it and ask how the issue will be resolved. If he or she smirks or shrugs, let other customers and friends know--this is where Facebook and Twitter comes in handy.

If I found out that an establishment turned a blind eye to the mistreatment of customers, I would not support the establishment until the whole problem was resolved, which sometimes means dismissing offending wait-staff and managers.

While we're at it, if you know someone being uncivil online--un-friend them, letting them know why you are doing so.

Does anyone have further suggestions?


At least that was just-if the man was guilty of course.

To often, though, "shaming" meant the Scarlet Letter kind of thing where a woman's life could be ruined for one night's unchastity or a man's for a single act of cowardice.
In the Old South, it was customary when word got around that a given man was an adulterer or wifebeater to gather round his house and bang on pots and pans until he left town. That was the old style of shaming.

Thanks for asking about Theia. She, like me, is a work in progress. I'm going to practice the walk inside a lot more frequently.

The other evening, before bed, I took her for a last potty break. All was going well until she heard/saw the neighborhood Pomeranian. Theia got overly excited and started to run toward it. Since I had her on a flex-line leash, she was able to build up enough steam that I started to fall and dropped the leash.

"Bad Dog," I yelled.

Ignoring my feeble attempts of mastery, Theia blissfully ran and jumped all over the other dog and its owner. Not liking Theia's overly exited energy, the Pomeranian started screaming. Thankfully, my neighbor is understanding, and she held Theia's collar until I got there.

"I'm terribly sorry," dear neighbor.

I had mud all over my shoes, legs, my nightgown-that-looks-like-a-dress and coat.

Next morning, Theia and I almost had a rehash of the incident. This time, I was running late for work. Aargh.

While my adventures aren't going so smoothly, I'm happy to report that my son is making much better progress. He told me to stay calm, etc.
"Shame" as Carol means it, means "being sent to Coventry". Fine enough, but in the times when it was used it was misapplied, disproportionate, and unjust and we really wouldn't have the heart to go through with it today.
Kim, I have a question for you? When was the last time you used the word, "shame"? (I mean, to anyone besides the dog? And, how's that going?) When was the last time you heard it used by someone else?

It didn't dawn on me until I read your response, here, that the word has gone completely out of common usage! Nobody, especially mothers, use that word any more! How can someone BE shamed who has never heard the word and doesn't have a clue what it means? Granted, one might intuit from the tone of voice, that it was not a good thing, but who would know for sure?

I suspect Jason's choice might have more meaning. People still talk about "duelling words", or even "duelling banjoes"--not often, but it does happen. Whereas, I haven't heard the word "shame" in at least 20 years!
Aren't those things kind of uncivil?
No, something far more effective: Shame.
Bring back dueling?

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