Well done, Carol. Sounds like you handled it just right: never telling him it's okay, but also not being jerks about it and severing the relationship. I hope it paid off in the end.

Your post made me think of an old comment (older than I am, so you know it's OLD!) that has haunted me ever since I first heard it: "For some people, YOU are the only Bible they will ever read"! Talk about personal responsibility!

When I am tempted to be cruel or sharp-tongued or spitting-nails-mad, God often brings that bit of wisdom to mind, and I find I calm down and approach the other person a different way. That's not to say that I "perfectly" represent Jesus all the time, but it has had an amazing effect nevertheless. Sometimes, people just need "the milk of human kindness" to be able to hear what comes after that.

GLBTs give me the creeps. I avoid them as much as possible. When my husband's youngest nephew "came out", we determined to be as friendly with him as possible. It took about 2 intrafamily get-togethers before he started making a bee-line for us as soon as he came in the door. We never brought up "the elephant in the room" because we knew others had; instead, we talked about what work he was doing, what sports he was interested in, where he'd been on vacation, etc. We always ended our conversations by telling him we were praying for him. When he died of AIDS in his 30s, I was glad that God had led us to treat him as we did.

No question, Kevin, and it never hurts for someone to clarify that.

If we think back to when we were saved, we can remember that some person or people made Christianity look good to us. More importantly, the people we looked at as representing Christianity in our eyes didn't make it look awful. If what we had seen in Christianity was harshness, anger and hatred, we most likely would never have been persuaded favorably. That's what I was talking about.

We all need to do a better job of remembering that when there are people who see us as Christians, there's an enormous responsibility on our shoulders to represent the faith well.

One small but significant correction, Kevin.
You write, "...we can't have a sincere, respectful conversation with gay people, many of whom will die unsaved as a result."
If they die unsaved, it is for the same reason as anyone else, that they have chosen not to believe and commit themselves to their only Savior. I don't deny that some (many? most?) American Christians might make it difficult for them to see Jesus through the antipathy and judgment, but the fact remains that they, like all of us, bear responsibility for their own choices, both temporal and eternal.

I think we all could say the same.

(Thanks for re-submitting.)

It took a moment to remember what I said. I believe it was something like, I'm Christian because of what I believe and the one in whom I believe. But that doesn't mean that I always act in a way that will be a good witness or give Christianity a good name.

I have a young relative who is gay. We have a good relationship and I'd like to keep it that way. That's why I don't feel like I can bring up the subject of homosexuality with him. That door has been effectively closed by hypocrisy and bigotry passed off as Christianity.

Young gay people have learned to be distrustful of even the most sensitive and respectful Christian attempts to discuss this topic, because they associate our perspective with blatant homophobia. My relative was put through some nightmarish and traumatic teenage years due to how terribly his mother handled his coming out to her. At this point, if I even tried to talk about homosexuality with him, he would immediately think, "Wow, I didn't know Kevin was like that." And that would pretty much be the end of our relationship.

If voices like Gina's and others who take part here were the ones gay people had been hearing all these years, there might be a chance to reopen that door I mentioned earlier. Sadly, they've been hearing all the wrong "Christians."

So I send a big, sarcastic "Thank you" to our fellow Christians who have basically ensured that we can't have a sincere, respectful conversation with gay people, many of whom will die unsaved as a result. Are you proud of yourselves?

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I had the exact same response to your posts. I salute you, friend.

Dan, I think I must have accidentally deleted your second comment when I was deleting a boatload of spam last night. I do apologize. Especially as both your comments were very good and very moving.

This is very convicting. I have been around gay people a lot, and I can honestly say I love them . . . but I disapprove of them when they are what I think of as "over the top." My daughter has called me out for calling people on TV names. I have never met those people, and I would certainly never say those things to people's faces, but I've thought them and that's just as bad.

I get it. Those behaviors that I think of as "over the top" give me the creeps. That still doesn't mean that I'm freed from the command to love. These folks aren't even my enemies.

Forgive me, God.